Tuesday, June 23, 2009

New meaning to spicing up your sex life

Wanted to post a previous blog from an old account onto the new site.. Enjoy OK, so you're walking down a main street in your city..it's a bit busy today but you can't help but to over hear a conversation that just makes you laugh so hard..It goes something like this... Girl one: "I just don't know..the sex seems so boring lately" Girl two: "Have you tried spicing it up?" Girl one: "No he wont use food during sex" In my head "OMFG is she serious..laughing my ass off!!!!" I really believe this is not what the first girl meant..but then I started to think...hmm what spices would you use to "spice" up your sex life? So i started investigating other things on the web..not those magazines who say they talked to 100 men and this is what they want..pfft whatever..if more men really wanted that...then more women would be happy with the way they look and wouldn't try so hard to please a man..such a load of crap really.. but ok..here we go.. Cinnamon given to a man is suppose to make his sperm taste sweet...supposedly making us girls want to give oral more often..have not tried this because I am single in RL and wont do this on a random guy..but supposedly he has to eat cinnamon a few times during the week before this takes effect... Nutmeg is suppose to boost the male libido, according to research at Aligarh University in India..so if he lacks sexual desire...feed him some nutmeg..maybe a glass of eggnog sprinkled with nutmeg 5 times a week..i don't get it either...but it's gotta be cheaper than the little blue pill eh? Or if he likes curry..it's an ingredient in curry so cook up a nice dinner laced with nutmeg and enjoy the effect. If ya search google for sex and spices you get some very odd topics..so I suggest you to read em and see if any strike your fancy..who knows..maybe there is an ingredient out that that will make him a God at making love and maybe...just maybe...you won't have to fake it the next time around..

Finding yourself

Sometimes in life things happen and you have no control over them, but when it happens you take a step back and look at your life from an outside point of view..It's amazing what you find when you do that. Every now and then it takes a life changing experience to make that happen. When you do, you look at yourself in a different way..and you think..where did I go? Where have I been? Why has it taken so long to get back to me? Then you realize...life isn't about pleasing everybody you meet..but pleasing yourself..making you happy like you use to before drama started to break you down. You make the decision right there and then..this time around it's gonna be you who is happy...and you remember...those who mind don't matter those who matter don't mind. A few favorite quotes I have heard over time.. If I am not worth the wooing I damn sure ain't worth the winning. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful I'm selfish, impatient, and a lil' insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't take me at my WORST then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my BEST!! Never regret anything that made you smile. Love like you never been hurt, smile like you are up to something, live like there is no tomorrow and enjoy each day as if you will live forever. *~*Never give up on yourself...always believe in you..if you don't then nobody else will. You are your own biggest fan, love yourself before anybody else and know that with a little bit of faith, you can move moutains...*~*

Monday, June 22, 2009

Fears, phobias and the humor of it looking from the out side in

Okay okay, in my old blog I had posted a blog that joked about fears and over coming them. I will copy that post here.. but I have to say this.. I am terrified of centipedes, they are unnatural and gross and freak me out! I am very serious here.. there is no way in the world that I can ever have sex with those things around me.. OMG eeww eeww.. I bring this up because the other night I was sitting outside talking to a neighbor and one crossed over my foot and I screamed and told her it was time for me to go in the house.. I HATE THOSE THINGS! Here is the post:: Ok so I was watching an episode of Monk (http://www.usanetwork.com/series/monk/) and if you know anything about Monk..you know he has tons of fears. So I got to thinking, how would I over come one of my biggest fears? I figure I would do something I absolutely love doing while doing something I fear. Lose you yet? Ok check this out.... My biggest fear..heights. I am scared to death of heights. I see it on TV when they do the shot off the side of the building my knees get weak. I see a shot out the side of an airplane I get sick to my stomach. I am that afraid of heights...But what do I love doing more than being afraid of heights? Why sex of course. I love sex especially when the man is good at it. Oh yes ladies, we all know men like that..the kind who rocked your world and every time you think of him you get all flabergasted and could cream jus thinking about it.(YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) So I figure it like this maybe I can talk the owners of the tallest building in my city into letting me go up on the roof top and have sex, I would be able to conquer my fear of heights and have an orgasm..and who knows maybe the best sex in my life!!!! So I tell a few people my plans and I get questions..what if you have a fear of spiders and snakes? I don't see having sex in a snake pit of spider web..what you do is get a glass box big enough for 2 with snakes and spiders crawling on the outside of the box...you are perfectly safe from them.. Yes incase you can't tell..if you really enjoy sex and it is done right, it may help you cure your fears. Or I just wanted a reason to write about things and include sex in it. My friend asked what about if you fear clowns? You have sex with a clown? No way...having sex with a clown is just creepy and besides..they taste funny if you give them oral and kissing them is just odd.. they wear more lipstick than you do. Then you get their make up all over your face then you go down to give them oral and you pull back and their multicolored and then you start laughing and ruin the whole thing...No to cure your fear of clowns you dont have sex with them...you have sex around them...have clown sheets, clown pictures I wouldnt have a real clown around though...that is creepy too. If you are afraid of it and really put some thought into it, you can probably have sex to cure it.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

For my pal...smiles

I cannot ease your aching heart, Nor take your pain away; But let me stay and take your hand And walk with you today. I'll listen when you need to talk, I'll wipe away your tears; I'll share your worries when they come, I'll help you face your fears. I'm here and I will stand by you ,On each hill you have to climb; So take my hand, let's face the world... And live just one day at a time. You're not alone, for I'm still here, I'll go that extra mile; And when your grief is easier, I'll help you learn to smile!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Somebody turn off the damn heat!

She walks into the room a smile on her face, the wind is blowing a nice cool breeze. She sways her hips walks with her head up. Smiling at the children as she passes them in play. She turns the corner.. OMFG.. who turned on the heat? She is dizzy, sweating.. feels like she is on fire.. her palms are clammy, her eyes unfocused.. she sits.. doesnt matter where.. the nearest sturdy place.. ah yes the floor.. solid, unmoving.. lean against the wall and slide to the floor.. Dear Lord, these have to pass.. yes sweating in summer is normal.. when it is hot.. but to sweat just to sweat? Give me the cold showers, the fan in the winter, keep me cool don't let me lose my cool. Give me my evening primrose and vitamin E's.. just stop turning up the damn heat!
They say men are the cause to our problems because everything major happening to us has the word man or his in it..
MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist
and when its a REAL problem...
but I recently heard a man tell a friend.. you know they named it right MEN O PAUSE, cause when those hot flashes start.. that is exactly what we do.. We don't go near them till it's over.. we pause.. Men O Pause is the right name.. I laughed.. I thought.. pause hell, just stop in your tracks turn around and walk away, if you value your life.
So I say again.. I can take the yelling kids, I can take the mood swings, just give me the cool showers, give me the pills, give me a day with out turning from sweet to bitch in less than 3 seconds.. just turn down the damn heat!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Sometimes I sit and I think too much. My mind is always going.. I always have to know everything that may affect my world.. In doing so, I find out things that now I wish I didn't.
They say that every body has that proverbial straw that will break the camels back.. am I getting close to finding out what mine is?
Sometimes I think, life with out the love I know.. and my chest starts to heave, my breathing becomes erratic and my heart begins to race. I've never been so scared to be with out. I've never been one to need so much. I've never been one to let another have such hold over me. What is it about this person?
loving blind
Dear Loving blind,
Simple answers to what you would think are not so simple questions.. You love this person, everything about them. You love that look in his eyes and the sparkle they get when they smile at you. You love the sound of their voice when they call your name. The touch of their hand when you feel alone. You love how they know.. exactly when your soul needs massaged. You love them for all the little things they do and how they always find a way to make you laugh and smile. You love them because they love you so well.. and no matter how hard you try, you can't stay mad. You love them because.. they are so lovable. They love you so well. In your heart of hearts you know.. you are theirs.. and they are yours.
Your Diary

If ever...perhaps

If ever I was a wanderer of the seven seas Perhaps I would find the time To see what you see in me Perhaps I would find the time If ever I was a private eye seeking out the lies Perhaps I could find the time To see what lies behind those eyes Perhaps I could find the time If ever I was somebody else watching us Perhaps I feel the time To see how we are with out the fuss Perhaps I feel the time If ever I got the chance to start all over I know I would Promise to be your forever lover I know I would