Friday, April 10, 2009

Serious...Domestic Violence

She sits alone day after day wondering what happened? Where did SHE go wrong? What did SHE do that caused her this pain? She didn't mean to look at him that way...she didn't mean to move towards him as if to cause him to act that way...She didn't mean to miss his phone call while she went to the bathroom, maybe she should have taken the phone with her while she was in there..sometimes she forgets that it's not what she wants it is what he wants..period. Now she looks in the mirror and she brushes her hair and she cringes cause her head hurts so bad, she can't bare to really look in the mirror at the bruise down the side of her face that is the perfect size of his fist, or the dark marks on her right eyelid or under her left eye or the swollen nose and how red it is..or the bruising on her lip and down her chin..all she wanted that night was to go to sleep with out a fight, with out an arguement that lasted into the wee hours of the morning leaving her feeling tired and restless. Maybe she should have just said yes you are right as always..Instead she was going to call for help because he seemed to be on a war path like none she had ever seen before. She reaches for the piece of paper with phone numbers scribbled on it nothing hidden nothing new on it, just a pice of paper with contacts on it in case she needed to call somebody..a piece of paper he had seen a thousand times before and well aware of what was written on it..but that night he acted as if it was a piece of paper that if she took it would end his life...but in reality taken that piece of paper almost ended hers.. As she walked out of her bedroom cell phone in hand heading towards the front door to make her phone call to have his sister come get him, he reaches out grabs her arm and being much stronger than she is spins her around and onto the couch..screaming at her..demanding she hand over the piece of paper..telling her to give it to him now..she refuses telling him it why do you want it, its the same numbers you seen day after day.."GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN PIECE OF PAPER" and the next thing she knew a hard smack upside the face, throwing her hand up to block the next blow she accidentally hits his face..a pure look of evil overcomes him..the look in his eyes..pitch black, no soul behind them he tells her "so this is how it is going to be?" she is screaming for him to get off her...please get off me..stop it..he grabs her arms and places them under his legs sitting on them she cant move..he pulls he huge arm back forms a fist, she turns her head and he punches her in the side of the head..she screams out "HELP ME PLEASE SOMEBODY" He pulls back and hits her again and again, her nose, her mouth..punching her nonstop over and over..he is a big man, does landscaping for aliving..hauling tons of soil, rock, you name it day after day...she is just a mother no muscle to her arms at all..just enough strength in her body to lift what needs lifting..but no real strength..not like his..a strengths she knew he had but never witnessed at this abusive end, in all the years she knew him, never has she been hit by this man. As she lays there kicking her feet trying to break free he pulls at her purse causing it to strangle her she is gasping for air trying to scream as loud as she can for somebody to hear her to save her, she prays "Please don't let me die like this, not at his hands" "PLEASE HELP ME..HELP ME.." she is gagging on the taste of her blood running into her mouth she can barely see anything her eyes swollen burning from her tears and cuts..All at once she can breath and move..saved by her brother and before she realized it she was on the phone to 911 as her brother held this man in a choke hold, she tells him "Let him go and go get mom" doing as she asked 911 answered "911 whats your emergency?" "Help husband beat me up" "Ma'am where are you" "I am in my dining room" "Where is he?" "He is in the wait he is walking out to the porch, please send cops" "Ma'am, I am going to connect you to dispatch ok?" "Please don't hang up on me..I am scared please" "Ma'am stay calm tell dispatch where you are located" "Yes ok..just please hurry" "Cleveland dispatch, what do you need, police fire or EMS?" "Police please" "What seems to be the problem Ma'am?" "My husband beat me, I am bleeding please help me" "Ma'am where is he?""He is sitting on the front porch saying he is going home to his parents" "Police are on their way are you located at 1234 crying for help?" "Yes Ma'am" "what is he wearing?" "He has on a burgundy tshirt and blue jeans a green baseball cap""Ok Ma'am do you want to stay on the phone till a car arrives?" "Yes please don't hang up" "OK Ma'am let me know when they arrive...where does his parent's live?" "That's just it..his parents are dead..have been for 5-6 yrs" "So he can't go to his parents..what does he mean going home to his parents?" "I dont know if I knew I would understand it....the police just arrived" "OK Ma'am I am hanging up now go talk to the police" "Thank you"She walks slowly down her stairs the driving officer starts rolling down his window he pauses looks at her face stops rolling down his window opens his door and asked "Which guy?" she slowly points to the man in the burgundy shirt standing by the car yelling for her to give him the keys so he can go home..Tears rolling down her face stinging she can barely see. She hurts so bad both inside and out..physically and mentally...why her? why tonight? She watches as they frisk him..emptying his pockets..cuffing him and removing his hat..he yells to her "They took off my hat, they are gonna sell it" She is confused..did she hear him cry to her as if to save him? Next thing is to give a quick written statement to the police officer and head to the ER to make sure nothing is broken or permantely damaged. For the next few days she is phone calls, no emails, no nothing..just crying...crying and hurting...she can't sleep cause it hurts to lay her head down..she cant breath cause her nose is still clogged with blood clots..she sneezes and starts bleeding again..her head is pounding..she wants to die...Then a voice inside her comes to life..."You can't give up..your children need you..don't let him promised yourself you would never put yourself in this situation told him 8 yrs ago...if he ever put his hands on you one time..that was now it has never thought it would but it did, he may not remember but your face does, the pictures you see remember, now is your time to be true to you. Do what keeps you happy and makes you what you are."What you have just read was not a story from Law and Order or is a real life story, something that happened to me not long ago. A night that would change my way of thinking from this point on. I found myself, as hard as it may be to know what I mean to some of you, it is true. For so long I did what everybody wanted me to. I wanted to please everybody at the same time, to make sure everybody was happy, and most of all that everybody liked me. During these past years I lost one very important person, myself. I was so busy pleasing the people that I lost track of what was really important, myself. Time and time again I held back my thoughts and went with the general population. As long as they were happy, all was good and dandy..but it wasn't cause inside there was a voice I muted long ago screaming to be heard. I finally heard it, and yes it took a beating to hear it but I heard it and now, I live every day for me. What I want, not caring what others want me to say or is my time to be happy for me. I say what I want and do as I please. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I don't take into consideration what my friends and family think or feel. I just mean that I am my own person, I think for myself. I am not out to hurt anybody if you think that is what I meant. These day's it is all about what is gonna make me happy? Not at the expense of my family or friends, but what makes me happy.Domestic violence is a growing problem in every part of the world. It has gotten to the point that it is taken so serious these days that even calling a household member out of their name ie..a bitch a slut, a tramp a whore, a bastard a name is now abuse. Verbal and physical abuse is now linked as one. No man or woman has their right to put their hands on another person the so call love in a manner to hurt them or cause harm to them. What is domestic violence? Let's go to wikipedia for a clearer understanding: is an excerpt...please click on the link above for more on this terrifying issue.Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse or spousal abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women.Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation, and threats of violence. Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence. There are a number of dimensions including mode - physical, psychological, sexual and/or social; frequency - on/off, occasional, chronic; and severity – in terms of both psychological or physical harm and the need for treatment – transitory or permanent injury – mild, moderate, severe up to homicide.Recent attention to domestic violence began in the women's movement, particularly feminism and women's rights, in the 1970s, as concern about wives being beaten by their husbands gained attention. Awareness and documentation of domestic violence differs from country to country. Estimates are that only about a third of cases of domestic violence are actually reported in the United States and the United Kingdom. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or more than 10% of the U.S. population.[1]Popular emphasis has tended to be on women as the victims of domestic violence. However, with the rise of the men's movement, and particularly masculism and men's rights, there is now advocacy for men victimized by women.Please also check this website: you or somebody you know is in a situation like this please, I beg you please get help or get them help.This is not a joke, Domestic Violence is real and it can kill...I know, I almost died that night and he would have never remembered..

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