Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Gut Reactions?

There are times in your life when you are overcome by emotions that you just react instead of thinking. Sometimes that is good, like when you get the overwhelming desire to kiss your lover and before you know it you have them in your arms in a passionate embrace kissing deeply. Other times, your reaction could hurt not only your partner but yourself. I know this, I felt this. I've been through so much with my partner, so many ups and down and trivial things happened and through it all, my faith and my love never wavered never faultered. Everything we have been through always made us stronger together. Yet every now and then I let my emotions run before I can catch up to them and pull them back into order. Out of my mouth flies the first that pops into my head and heart and it isn't pretty. My first instinct when something really seems to hurt me deep inside, is to run. I've learned not to run as a first option, I've not wanted to run in a long time. Now if only I could get my mouth to stay shut when something hurts deep down, I might be able to stop their hurt from happening. I am not so much worried about my own hurt, I am pretty good at keeping it inside and not letting it ruin the moment or day, most times.. other times, well.. it isn't pretty. I usually end up questioning myself and doubting myself more than ever. Sometimes saying sorry doesnt seem like enough, its those moments when I wonder how I can fix their heart make them better make them see, I love them and need them and can't live with out them. One day..

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